Bill The Cat
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Who is Bill the Cat? The cat is a legend - too strange to live, too rare to die. Bill is basically a skinny, half-dead Garfield. The fact that Bill the Cat looks like a disheveled Garfield is no accident - he is the anti-Garfield. Depraved, homicidally insane, and barely able to utter a single word, Bill the Cat isn't looking for lasagna - and the world is better off for it. He doesn't say much, except for the occasional "ack" and "thbbft", and spends most of his life (and death) in a catatonic stare. But yet he has compelled a nation, died, been reborn, run for office, and even dated world-famous women. What is this cat's secret?
President Bill D. Cat. It has a nice ring to it - it's too bad the voters didn't agree. In 1984 and 1998, Bill the Cat and Opus ran for the office of President and Vice President, respectively. Due to various scandals (including Bill dating ardent anti-Communist Jeane Kirkpatrick), they were trounced in the polls - but won the readers hearts.
Indeed, Bill the Cat has done it all. He's been: a televangelist (Fundamentally Oral Bill), a presidential candidate (twice - for the National Radical Meadow Party), a heavy metal rockstar (Wild Bill Cat), a cult leader (Bhagwan Bill). Bill seamlessly morphs from one persona to the other - reaching new heights of comedic ecstasy with each transformation.
Sadly, Bill the Cat died in a tragic James Dean style automobile accident. The world mourned his death, so it is a good thing that Oliver Jones was able to use DNA and modern science to bring him back to life. Not that he looked much different when he was dead from when he was alive...
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